8thMaxim.com: Dumb Vol Fan "Logic"
After being on this board, and checking out others from time to time, I thought it might be useful to collect a standard list of rube logic that constantly gets spewed and annoys the lot of us here to no end on a regular basis (and, in fact, pushed most of here in the first place). Perhaps this could even be an easy reference point to direct offenders. Something along the lines of "that sort of idiocy is the number 3 line of dipshit fan logic" or whatever.
Please feel free to add to the list and make it better than what little I've come up with. I just wanted to standardize all the moronic VolNation-like commentary from over the years. So, here we go:
Moron Fan Logic
1. Maybe you should be the coach.
2. If we fire him, who are we going to get?
3. You need to support the coach
- Any variation of the "Go root for Bama/Florida/Vandy/etc." (True Fan Argument)
4. The coach has more info, so I'll defer to him.
5. ESPN/Rivals Rankings/Illuminati/Jesus hates UT and this is the only reason this negative story, low ranking for a UT recruit or whatever is coming out.
6. Don't talk negatively, recruits read this board.
7. You wouldn't say that to [insert player]'s face.
8. We need to recruit Tennessee players. They'll play harder for the "T" more than someone from out of state, even if they are more talented.
9. The players feed off the negativity of message boards, so keep things positive.
10. We shouldn't get ahead of ourselves and talk about teams later on in the schedule. Take one game at a time.
11. We need coaching stability for recruiting.
12. [Insert low rated current star player] was only a 2 star, so it goes to show that recruiting ratings are irrelevant. Loading up on 4 and 5 star players is, essentially, the same as 2 stars. (Also known as the Derek Dooley recruiting delusion)
13. We have a 50/50 shot at beating Bama, even if we are a huge underdog.
14. UT hired Coach [insert Pat Washington, I mean, any coach], so he must be good.
15. Wait til Peyton comes back as coach. Best offense ever will follow.
16. It's not the coaches fault the players are too slow, can't tackle, put themselves in correct positions, wipe their ass properly, etc.
17. Poster A is more reliable than Poster B because he has more likes.
18. 4/5 star recruit for Bama? Overrated (with character issues). 3 star for Tennessee? Sleeper, future Patrick Willis.
19. Tennessee has a boatload of silents ready to commit any day, or during some special moment, like the Army AA Game or prom.
20. Tennessee has the greatest tradition in college football and recruits love this.
21. Character trumps talent and skill in recruiting a player.
22. The problem is that our expectations are too high. You have to realize the limitations of coaching at UT. (Shhhh, I can't say it out loud, but there's not enough black people around here.) Henceforth know as the Mike Hamilton Theory.
23. Bama winning the NC for the SEC helps our recruiting. They are our conference brothers and we should root for them in the bowls.
24. Sports are cyclical, so we're gonna win a title pretty soon due to our natural down cycle of hiring shitty coaches.
25. Writing a, possibly, sexually tinged ode to a 17 year old high school QB that could be as easily construed as an invitation NYY writes to potential truck stop conquests as much as a convincing argument to attend Tennessee, is a good idea.
26. We've sucked since Fulmer left, so clearly it was a bad idea to fire him.
27. "Some of you guys just think we should win a national championship every year ." -posted immediately following four score beatdown from mediocre ACC opponent.