Coaching and Youth Sports

Discussion in 'The Thunderdome' started by cotton, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. utvol0427

    utvol0427 Chieftain

    Funny story, I sat down with him one Saturday afternoon to watch an MLB game to show him that even the professionals get out more often than not. Top of the first and it looked like the road team was taking BP. Knocked the ball all over the field while my son was looking at me like a crazy person wondering when they would start getting out.
     
  2. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    I pushed my son too hard with baseball too early. His entire 8 year old year was a testament to that. His 9 year old year was night and day improvement, and I think he'll do better this year.

    Football was his decision. 100% his. Close to 3 years later since he told us and I'm still shocked.

    I told him I'd give him a dollar to go to one wrestling practice, and he loved it.
     
  3. utvol0427

    utvol0427 Chieftain

    I've done this, as well as sold all of his favorite toys, but he's stubborn.
     
  4. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    Gonna have to throw him out of the house.
     
  5. utvol0427

    utvol0427 Chieftain

    But then who cleans up after my wife and I? Chores aren't going to do themselves.
     
  6. Ssmiff

    Ssmiff Went to the White House...Again

    And yes I use the phone or video games as leverage. Parenting books may disagree, but I try to pick the battles. Fine, you want on modern warfare with your buddies till 1 am on the weekend, your grades are in order and you are competing in something and I mean competing, not just going thru motions.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2019
  7. droski

    droski Traffic Criminal

    this is great parenting advice
     
    NorrisAlan likes this.
  8. droski

    droski Traffic Criminal

    i think baseball has enough chances for individual success and also is enough of a team sport that failure isn't magnified like some other sports for a young kid. you need to get him in soon too because he'll really feel awful when all the other kids are much better than him solely because of experience.
     
  9. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    Drastic times call for drastic measures.
     
    droski likes this.
  10. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    You tell her to start cleaning and bring you another beer.
     
  11. droski

    droski Traffic Criminal

    so far i've been able to phrase things in such a way where they feel like it's their decision to say not play soccer and instead play fall baseball.
     
  12. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    I'm enjoying this no nonsense attitude from the boy regarding practice now. He ain't here to play
     
  13. Ssmiff

    Ssmiff Went to the White House...Again

    Got this text from my 19 year old today. Pretty cool.
     

    Attached Files:

  14. utvol0427

    utvol0427 Chieftain

    Awesome. Tell him random internet guy said congrats.
     
    Ssmiff and NorrisAlan like this.
  15. Tenacious D

    Tenacious D The law is of supreme importance, or no importance

    UT, my oldest son is the same, minus the speed and athleticism. But mine is scrawny, short and deceptively slow. He’s probably more socially awkward, too.

    He quit playing after one year, at age 7, when he had a horrible season, but still, he has always loved football. He’s a regular kid and has his favorite players, but he also likes to learn about the game, strategies, etc.

    Over the summer, he made several mentions of wishing that he still played, and I finally asked him what’s stopping him. He said it was because he’s slow, not athletic at all, almost entirely terrible, they’re all great, he’s small, they’re giants, they’ve played together for years, he’d be the new guy - he’s a “smart kid” and not a jock, he wouldn’t fit in, he’d get destroyed, he sometimes struggles to fit in, etc.

    All the stuff you’re talking about, probably.

    After a lot of talk, I finally just told him that there is no way to simulate the game, save playing it, that it’s understandable and easy to find reasons not to do anything, but he basically has 4 years to play, and if he wants to do it, he better get going.

    Everyone looked at him like he’s crazy, skeptical as to why he was doing it, and wondering as to whether or not he’d stick with it. He’s a perfectionist and if he’s not good at something, his inclination is always to quit and do something else. But he signed up to play, as a freshman.

    It’s been tough at times, especially early on, and he’s gotten pummeled dozens of times. He doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. Kids jogging will outrun him when he’s at top speed (no joke). He doesn’t like contact....which is less than ideal when playing football.

    I’ll be surprised if he starts on special teams by the time he’s a senior, tbh. He understands what he is, and his limitations, but does his best, and his teammates and coaches seem to appreciate that.

    Most importantly, he still likes it, hasn’t quit and enjoys the process of learning more and just trying to get better. He’s made a bunch of friends, and has fun just being out there, participating. He loves wearing his jersey on Fridays, riding the bus to games, being with his team and a part of something. For him, that’s plenty enough, perhaps only for now or maybe ever. And that’s fine with me, too, because he’s already gotten more than out of it than he would have ever gotten, otherwise, and had he never put himself out there and was willing to participate.

    He’s gained confidence, and is better for having done it, thus far. He has to find micro-successes, but when he does, he’s pleased and proud of himself. It was a big deal for him and for our entire family when he got to dress out for the first time. I recorded him running onto the field in his uniform for the very first time, so as to save it for posterity, and be appreciated it.

    I’m very, very proud of him - not for how much or well that he plays, but that he was willing to try and to work toward doing something that was not easy for him, but hard.

    It’s been great for him.

    There’s a lot of very good to great reasons why you shouldn’t cajole, manipulate or outright force your kids to play sports. It’s very good that we’ve finally gotten to a point where more parents realize the harm in that. I hope that many more also understand the same, in the years to come. But there’s also a risk that the pendulum swings too far in the opposite direction, where parents mistake help, support and encouragement for pressure, and which I think sometimes unintentionally teaches kids to give into their fears, instead of confronting them. For too many kids, if it’s hard, there’s a chance they’ll suck, be made fun of, or otherwise where there is no guarantee of success, they think it’s both easiest and best to simply not try. And well-intentioned parents can actually and unwittingly feed that, for fear of exerting too much pressure the kid.

    Sometimes they need to borrow your courage, until they find their own. A little of that and a lot of encouragement go a long way. At least it worked for me, and my son.

    And if my stupid ass cab figure it partially out, you will, too, for sure. I just empathized with what you’re saying, and hoped to offer some encouragement. That you even want to figure it out and to do what’s best for your kid, regardless of what you want, wish or hope...is the biggest and most important thing to realize. You’ll figure it out and strike the proper balance, I’m sure.

    Football is just what I’m talking about because that’s where I’ve been. But it could just as easily be true in baseball, band, acting, math, whatever.

    **I’ve made a few minor changes, to provide better clarity and cohesion as to what I intended.
     
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  16. droski

    droski Traffic Criminal

    great story. I was awful at every sport and played everything till hs, but don’t regret a minute of playing any of them.
     
  17. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    He better average a double-double in the manager league games.
     
  18. Tenacious D

    Tenacious D The law is of supreme importance, or no importance

    My son was somewhat less than appreciative of my asking his permission to use the footage of his running on the field as the first highlight on his Hudl page.

    It should be noted that I used some goofy app to slow it down all superhero style and inserted Tool’s 46&2 as a backing track.

    I take him to school most mornings and he asked me to stop by Wal-Mart on the way to get him some of those Hot Hands hand warmers for his game tonight, because he’s been monitoring the weather and noticed that it’ll be 30° at kickoff (gasp!). Apparently, these are practically arctic-like conditions. So, I can’t say that it physically toughens’em up, or entirely changes who they are, at least at this stage.

    The team is stopping at Cracker Barrel on their way to their game tonight, and he was also very concerned that they’d buy the same meal for everyone, that it’d be “something disgusting...like meatloaf.” I pulled over and made him go cut his own switch, right then and there for talking about Cracker Barrel’s meatloaf in such a derogatory way.

    Point is: have fun with it.
     
    NYY likes this.
  19. cotton

    cotton Stand-up Philosopher

    I eat, and enjoy eating, almost everything.

    Except meatloaf. Meatloaf sucks.

    It's a loaf of meat. No thanks.
     
  20. Ssmiff

    Ssmiff Went to the White House...Again

    Youve had shitty meatloaf and potatoes cotton
     
    NorrisAlan likes this.

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