The Final Bow

[uck fay] Cancer btw

 

Dear kids if you get cancer, take the medical treatment. Don't be a dumbass like Jobs, Adams, and others.

 

But I’m sure many of these people thought that at some point. Something in wiring goes bad in the wrong area of the brain. May have been induced by outside sources like a med or drugs, triggered by an event, enhanced by bad habits or just happens and they are literally wired crazy enough to end it and want someone to find them and leave that lasting image.

 

I probably had one too many surgeries from what we know at this point, and it has caused me chronic (but well managed) pain. I will never be 100% again, but even if my absolute peak is 90%, I’ll take that over 0% all day long

It pisses me off when I see people on social media, like one woman recently, asking how to talk their loved ones out of getting chemo or other treatments in favor of whatever snake oil the loons are pimping. You don’t talk them out of it, you daft [vagina], you let them get a chance to live. Even stage 4 cancers can be cured now if there isn’t too much spread.

Look, I will never fault someone who is told they are terminal for saying “I don’t want the treatment,” but until that point, give yourself the best chance and that chance may cause some short term difficulties, and it’s truly unfair, but that’s just how it works.

 

On the flip side, my FIL went through treatment for lung cancer last year. The treatment ultimately resulted in him developing Guillain Barre Syndrome and he’s lost all use of his legs and hands and most of his left arm. Bedridden now and requires 24 hour care and not a lot of hope for recovery from GBS.

I’d still get treatment in a heartbeat since outcomes like that are rare, but watching it play out makes me understand a bit more how people try to come up with alternative solutions. I’d 100% rather cancer take me out than to go through what he’s dealing with right now.

 

A good friend of mine went through Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma over the last 2 years. He had a friend from High School who was a Jesus Freak (I can't think of a better term) reach out to him. Told him he shouldn't take chemo because we can't know if it actually makes things worse and he should trust in the Lord to provide him with a natural cure. He kindly had to tell him he knew for a fact the chemo was better than dying at 35 and that he would be taking the chemo route.

 

Some times the Lord is teeing up treatment for you

 

Was Adams favorite cartoon -

 

Truly sorry for what your FIL is going through.

 

Claudette Colvin, who was refused to give up her seat in Montgomery, months before Rosa Parks, but was only 16 and the movement thought Parks would be a better candidate to publicize.

 

I'm sorry, that's terrible.

 

even when we have it out on here, I think about your battle and feel for you having to deal but you seem to have it mentally. I’ve seen so much sickness the last few years while listening to people with no perspective complain about trivial shit.

Each person needs to make their own decision but make sure it’s an educated one. I’m on these boards as people literally ask for help making decisions re their children. Some mention other mushrooms, natural stuff, even thc oil in their beliefs it helped. And, some may have. People have tumors that are inoperable, or a surgeon is concerned about damaging good tissue, then you have the concern for radiation on a developing brain, so people get desperate for options. I don’t really blame anybody for trying anything. Go for it. But if it’s not working in a few months, try something else.
My advice fwiw is again:
-to make informed decisions, not knee jerk. And don’t look back. Too much pressure and stress already to 2nd guess any decision made during a stressful time If it doesn’t work well, now you know and next..
-dna and gene testing has helped with new targeted therapies. I just wish the fda wasn’t so damn slow as there are children, and adults, on their last days so just let them decide if they want to take the risk. There’s no telling how many people die each year while things..procedures, meds, injections..that can help them live longer, are in fda limbo. Meanwhile pain pills are cleared and just fine..
-get 2nd and 3rd opinions. Find the 2 best surgeons. I’ve heard from parents who had one surgeon tell them he was afraid to damage tissue and didn’t get as much tumor as planned. That can be the case, but same parent went to ST Jude and Dr Klimo got the whole thing out with no damage to any good brain tissue. Getting the entire cancer out has much better overall prognosis than leaving noticeable tumor there.

 

sorry. Sucks bad

 

No need to be sorry. He’s an alcoholic who has, and still does at times, treated my wife like the dirt on the bottom of his shoes.

 

Oh...[uck fay] him then

 

reminds me of the man who was drowning in a river. Boat came by and asked if he needed help and man said “I’m fine, Jesus has this.” As he looked for signs of God, a huge empty raft came floating by as he watched it. “God have you forgotten me as I drown in this river?”
When he got to Heaven, he told God how he had asked for signs and for help and God said:
“I sent you a boat and a float.”

I don’t fault believers for praying for a miracle. I’ve been there. And whether people ridicule or not, I kinda feel like we got one.
But of course we didn’t count on only prayer. We had 3rd opinions and were fortunate to find the best plan.

 

Thank you.

Sometimes I really don't, to be honest, but I think I probably do better than a lot of people do with it, and that's not a knock on them. It's hard, especially during active treatment, but I have gotten a lot of good news along the way, and some people just don't. I always look at my grandmother who has gone through this shit like 4 different times now, plus all the times she went through it with her siblings and friends, and it usually resets me.

I am genuinely glad your family has gotten the boon of good news along the way as well, and hope that continues for you.

Sorry I told you to play in traffic. I usually try not to go full hat (RIP)

 

Actually on that note, if you know anyone going through cancer or any other debilitating illness and they are having a hard time with it (and most people will)... try to get them to talk to someone. Support group, therapist, survivors, etc. It took until I started seeing a therapist to really get a handle on it. I am so much better today than I was a couple years ago, and it's because my wife finally looked at me and said "you are going to talk to someone, I can't keep seeing you like this"

 

you should think about writing a book about your experience, from initial concerns, diagnosis, treatments, recovery..the good, bad and ugly from first person point of view.
I can’t explain how helpful it was to me.

 

Not there yet but Lou Holtz has entered Hospice.