Warning: Outbreak on the 8th (Peterman Fever)

Discussion in 'Vols Football' started by IP, Aug 11, 2014.

  1. IP

    IP Super Moderator

    Numerous tests have confirmed that an outbreak of Peterman Fever has occurred on the forums.

    The exact origin of this outbreak is unknown, with some blaming a connecting lurker of Outer Monvolia or the National People's Republic of Volnation as the vector. This outbreak seems to have spread like wild fire over the last 24 hours, with Patient Zero exhibiting symptoms as early as 72 hours ago. With the first confirmed case being Govols182, heretofore referred to as "Patient Zero," careful monitoring of future symptoms will be key in assessing the threat this contagion holds to the fanbase at large, as well as on this forum.

    At this time, it is suggested that strong prognostications as to the eventual starting quarterback of the 2014 Volunteers are to be avoided, as well as congregating near posts that do so.

    Please stay tuned for any further developments.
     
  2. NorrisAlan

    NorrisAlan Founder of the Mike Honcho Fan Club

    I am sure I contracted mine from NYY when he told me not to worry about a condom.
     
  3. zehr27

    zehr27 8th's VIP

    I would actually be excited for next year if it was Peterman this year. It would mean we would have a QB that will know the system and be more mature and ready. With that said I will not hold my breath that he is actually better.
     
  4. emainvol

    emainvol Administrator

    Even after watching Peterman be worse than Worley, I still refuse to believe that he is worse than Worley
     
  5. zehr27

    zehr27 8th's VIP

    He always does that. Makes you feel special. Lesson learned.
     
  6. IP

    IP Super Moderator

    The only historical outbreak resulted in near 100 % fatalities last September.
     
  7. Tenacious D

    Tenacious D The law is of supreme importance, or no importance

    Against Florida, Nathan Peterman threw 11 times.

    4 of those passes were completed, and
    We gained a total of 5 yards, and
    2 were INT's

    Where is this Peterman stuff coming from, again?
     
  8. IP

    IP Super Moderator

    Genetic sequencing is complete. Laboratory tests confirm that this is a new strain of Peterman Fever, distinct from Peterman-Gainesville. The Gainesville strain was marked with excruciating pain throughout the joints and attacks to the liver in its culminating stage. This new strain is currently exhibiting none of these symptoms, only manifesting light auditory and visual hallucinations, mania, and chapped lips. However, we have only witnessed the first stage of the illness, and it may yet be the most virulent and vicious strain yet.
     
  9. IP

    IP Super Moderator

    As I said, reports of a disease matching the description of Peterman Fever have come from remote villages and threads in various third world forums. As to what its natural host is, that is hard to say. My guess would be hill billies or fruit bats.
     
  10. JayVols

    JayVols Walleye Catchin' Moderator

    I think Melungeons are immune to this.
     
  11. IP

    IP Super Moderator

    You may be asked to volunteer to submit to procedures endeavoring to find a treatment. I have to ask you a few questions first: Are you allergic to "woo's?" How would you describe your hair color? And finally, have you ever had sex with any men from Africa or ksushalovesthevols?
     
  12. Beechervol

    Beechervol Super Moderator

    Had Jones not pulled the trigger in the UF game last year, this would be very easy to conceive and comprehend.
     
  13. nashvillevol

    nashvillevol New Member

    #peterfever
     
  14. InVolNerable

    InVolNerable Fark Master Flex

    Can't use that. It's NYY's.
     
  15. nashvillevol

    nashvillevol New Member

    Haha my apologies
     
  16. NorrisAlan

    NorrisAlan Founder of the Mike Honcho Fan Club

    Maybe that is what I caught, and not Peterman Fever. Either way, it is quite the irritant.
     
  17. BigOrangeBeech

    BigOrangeBeech Poster of the Month, July 2014 and recruiting guy!

    This should put it all in perspective.
     
  18. justingroves

    justingroves supermod

    Don't forget the fumbled hand off
     
  19. kidbourbon

    kidbourbon Well-Known Member

    I got a fever....
     
  20. Dick Huffman

    Dick Huffman Guest

    Agree completely
     

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