Coaches talking after practice, around 8:30pm, only us at the field. Kid walks up, wearing / carrying football gear, taped toes on tattered cleats. Asks if we’ve seen certain car. No. Kid then asks if there’s a water fountain. No, again. Kid says thanks, starts to walk away. Ask kid what’s up. Says Dad dropped him off, but isn’t there to pick up. No sweat, we’ll wait with. 14. Mom moved to SC with new boyfriend. Left kid in Knoxville with Dad. Dad is alcoholic, who lives with his parents. Kid says grandad gave his dad $10 to buy him gas to drive field and the kid a drink for practice. Dad drops off, says he’ll return with drink before first break. Kid says he probably left, bought booze and now won’t return, as has happened many times before. Says he just walks to a friend’s house (in football gear, carrying pads and shell) when this happens, and he just sleeps there that night. Friend lives app. 3-4 miles from Park. One coach goes to buy kid a drink (had “a sip” from a generous teammate during practice), I call grandad. Grandad is super pissed I called and insist that he retrieves grandson / dumb kid, as he’s “already in for the night”. Grandad finally arrives at 10pm-ish, we verify it’s him, and kid leaves. Got home. Called DCS. Wife sees another dumb kid get off a motorcycle with his dad, one arm around dad, the other arm holding pads + shells. Wearing sneakers, football pants and an old stained / frayed collared polo shirt. Puts on pads over said polo shirt. Kid asks dad about water, Dad says to borrow from a teammate. If the kid produces, I’ll buy him a water. IF. Kid needs to buy some cleats with built-in boot straps, so as to then pull himself up and buy his own water. Another kid recently adopted from a Central American country. Salt of the earth parents. Dumb kid barely speaks a damned word of English. Dad says he doesn’t like soccer, but LOVES football. LOVES. FOOTBALL. I’m struggling to figure out how I’m going to talk to this dumb kid after Dad returns to sideline. Awkward silence as he stares at me. I ask if he likes football, just to break awkward silence as Dad has since walked away and we’re now alone. Nothing. Despite locked eye contact, utterly blank expression. He’s also deaf, methinks. I say Dad says you don’t like soccer, but like football. 1-2 seconds more of excruciating silence, when all 2’6” of this dumb kid suddenly grows rigid as he balls up both fists, and through gritted teeth (it’s his version of what looks to be a largely terrible rendition of a “game face”) slowly says, “America”, again while staring a hole in me. Does this several times during practice, and gets a chuckle from teammates each time. Also does anything else we ask of him. He’s terrible, but enthusiastic. Dad is right, as this kid loves football more than your dumbass loves your dog. Dad comes to retrieve dumb kid when practice is done. I tell him about the game face / “America” shit, and my tone likely strongly insinuated that his newly adopted son may have Tourette’s, or worse. Dad says that what little this dumb kid knows, he knows that Americans love football...and that he’s now an American, that he’s just trying to show me that he also loves it, too. Dad says that’s why he was so insistent on playing. I tell Dad that he’s dumb and that his kid is dumb. Got home. Called INS. Dumb kid checked out. For now. And on and on and on and on. And that’s just 10 hours of my dumbass week. I can’t fathom working with kids full-time.
I'd like for that first dad to be dropped off in the middle of Nevada. Tell him I'll be back with some water.
I'm willing to donate some dollar bills for dumb kids to have some dumb water out of a dumb orange water cooler. I'll splurge and add in some cups from CostCo, but y'all will have to buy the cups. Tell me where to send all the money.
Kids haven’t changed and never will. Parents have. Spend one week in a school system and you’ll see way too many kids being raised by a grandparent or basically raising their own damn self.
I know a bunch of 20-30 year olds that are "taking care of" such and such grandparent. Taking care evidently consists of doing nothing but living and eating rent free.
I've got three and I don't really remember what it was like without them, but holy shit, it's no one's business if people want to have them or not. I don't think it's selfish to not have them. I never thought I would get married or have any, but life is funny. Anyways, I don't think it's selfish to not have kids and I don't understand why people say that.
agree with JG. If you don't want kids, don't have them. And if you do, take care of them. Pretty simple really. The selfish are the men who have kids and do nothing or don't want to be a part. We have more punks walking around today because their parents, mainly dads, suck.
Not selfish, but you might regret it one day. Then again, might not. Could also be one of those things where you don't know what you're missing out on until you have one. Kind of a conundrum. Plus, the biological window in which your ladyfriend has to have kids doesn't really fit in well with the professional timetable. And now that I have a kid, I find myself thinking of all these adventures and things I never got around to embarking upon when I was younger. Worried that by the time the nest is empty I'll be too old to attempt them. At any rate, it definitely isn't selfish to choose either path.
dude you won't ever be prepared. That's not a knock. None of us were. You figure it out. Being mentally in is the key. The rest is gonna happen regardless
