dads....huddle up

Discussion in 'The Thunderdome' started by here to lurk, May 19, 2014.

  1. here to lurk

    here to lurk Hidden Member

    may have a few typos here, running on little sleep and a newborn in one arm.....

    anybody elses wife get super emotional after birth...ie days after. not saying its post partum, but my wife seems to be having a rough go of it emotions wise. lots of sobbing and some having tears over small stuff. she just seems overwhelmed. trying to get her to sleep as much as she can but she still has to nurse

    anybody else? is this a stage?

    also, i just burped smelly pizza onto my daughters head and she didnt wake up...shes a trooper
     
  2. Volst53

    Volst53 Super Moderator

    I think it's pretty common. I think their hormones are all over the place.
     
  3. TennTradition

    TennTradition Super Moderator

    Congrats on the baby, man. Daughters are amazing.

    As for your wife, it could certainly settle out. But I don't have a lot of data. My wife was actually surprisingly stable after our daughter was born. Just keep up the support of her sleep and encouraging her...that's she's doing a good job. But keep an eye on her to make sure it doesn't grow into something more. Hormones can definitely drive crazy behavior. Could be short lived.

    If she needs your help feeding but you don't want to do a bottle, consider her pumping and you doing finger feedings via a SNS.
     
  4. warhammer

    warhammer Chieftain

    It's probably just the hormones. Her body has gone and is going through a major change chemistry wise. I'd advise not saying the word hormone to her though. Keep an eye on her. Be supportive.
     
  5. JayVols

    JayVols Walleye Catchin' Moderator

    Pregnancy and post pregnancy hormones makes pms look like a cool ice cream sundae on a hot summer's day.
     
  6. NYY

    NYY Super Moderator

    It does cause issues and can be scary. Just keep an eye on it.
     
  7. Cameltoes

    Cameltoes Contributor

    Get her to call her OB. He/she can help make the assessment whether it's within the normal range or pp depression. It's what they're there for and they'll be happy to help.
     
  8. NorrisAlan

    NorrisAlan Founder of the Mike Honcho Fan Club

    Yes, the "baby blues" are completely normal, but do not be afraid to get help. Postpartum Depression is common and in some cases (not to be an alarmist!) can lead to tragedy. Just keep an eye on her.

    And congratulations on the baby! Welcome to a Brave New World my friend :)
     
  9. DirtyVol

    DirtyVol New Member

    ditto on what everyone else said about post partum. Here are a few things I think helped with our kid.

    I didn't allow him to sleep in the room. He slept in the room next to us and we had a video monitor. I've read if the baby smells the moms milk it will wake and want a snack. This allows both mom and baby to sleep a little longer. Every bit of sleep your wife can get is precious.

    The other thing is Google sleep training a baby. Most people will laugh at this but it works. They say you can start at 4 weeks but I started at 2 1/2. With our son he would sleep for an hour then wake up for a snack and repeat meaning she didn't get any sleep. So we did the following - he ate around 9, then everytime he got up I rocked him back to sleep for the next 2.5-3 hours. Then when he ate he ate a full meal and slept for the next 2.5-3 hours. It took 2-3 days to get him on a schedule but once he was there he stayed on it as long as we were consistent. This really helped because now she could go to bed at 10 then get up*to feed him at 12, 3 and 6. It allowed her to sleep a bit more.

    Last thing is force her to let you change diapers and feed the baby. She may feel like she should do it but remind her that it's your kid too, you want to help and despite how fragile she looks she won't break. Your wife really needs the break even though she might not realize it.
     
  10. justingroves

    justingroves supermod

    Yes, yes, yes get her to pump and you feed the baby. We created a little monster that wouldn't take a bottle. My wife stays at home and we didn't really pay attention to it until about 2 months in. By then, it was too late.

    Get her to sleep when she can, as much as possible, and help any way you can.
     
  11. Volst53

    Volst53 Super Moderator

    Damn I didn't know we had it so good. Our little rug rat is sleeping like a champ. She is an endless pit on eating though.
     
  12. smokysbark

    smokysbark Chieftain

    To reiterate what Dirty said ... do NOT let the baby sleep with you or in the room with you. My wife and I made that mistake with the first and he never slept sound for more than a few hours ... for three years! Force yourself to allow her to sleep in her own room.

    My wife had a pretty emotional time after one of her pregnancies and it was pretty scary because I didn't know what to do. She was upset and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I read as much as I could and, like JG said, learned to do everything I could to be able to help. I would definitely get an OB appt though ... PP depression is a serious condition that should be diagnosed and monitored or it can have tragic results.
     
  13. XXROCKYTOPXX

    XXROCKYTOPXX Chieftain

    This is what I was going to say. I'd say it's normal for a short time afterwards but it certainly shouldn't be a long term thing.
     
  14. Volst53

    Volst53 Super Moderator

    Its normal as long as it passes. If she's down for a few days at a time, get help.
     
  15. droski

    droski Traffic Criminal

    If the kids on formula they sleep longer. Most kids can't be put on a schedule that early though. Some people have it easier.
     
  16. XXROCKYTOPXX

    XXROCKYTOPXX Chieftain

    One of the upsides to the NICU is the that they put them on a 4 hour feeding schedule.
     
  17. here to lurk

    here to lurk Hidden Member

    good morning guys. After a bit of sleep wife is in much better spirits. partly it's because we are in her hometown and not our own place that's causing some issues. her dad's place where we are now is kind of a mess and her mom's apt where we want to be is being fixed up (we told her 9 months ago to get it together because we'd be in town and it's still not done) so these things are adding to the misery.

    Also, she's still going through a bit of pain due to a bit of tearing during the birth and swollen breasts and breastfeeding. She gave birth drug free at a birth center (I actually was the one to recieve my baby...it was priceless) and she was prepared for the pain during birth, but I think she lingering pain ha caught her by surprise. Bit of a snowball of problems that are unrelated that lead to her feeling overwhelmed.

    thanks so much for the words guys. it means a lot to have people to bounce questions/worries off of
     
  18. JayVols

    JayVols Walleye Catchin' Moderator


    Hope you both feel better soon. It'll all be worth it.
     
  19. droski

    droski Traffic Criminal

    Ours made little to no effort to have them have a night and day schedule.
     
  20. droski

    droski Traffic Criminal

    Once you get in a rhythm you won't look back even of you are only sleeping 4 hours a night. It gets better
     

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