a little over 3 months away from babypocalypse here. For the dads out there, what tips/advice do you have for the first days/weeks/months? What's going to happen that I may not have thought of? Carnival in Brazil is coming up here in a little over a month and we will be using that time to paint/organize baby room. I guess I am asking, because most of what I have read been told focuses more on the toddler years and after....I'm looking for more immediate things.... and as always, thanks in advance...
in all seriousness the difficulty of babies is vastly over stated. the main problem you will have is not getting the type of sleep you are used to. also expect your work performance to drop. it's just inevitable.
Enjoy every moment. There's going to be nights when the little one is crying and you're so tired you can't see straight. But enjoy it. As twisted as it sounds you'll miss that time one day. I know I sure do. Be prepared to love something more than anything you've ever loved the moment you lay eyes on them. Wish you nothing but the best and am genuinely excited for you. It'll be the best time of your life.
Early on - sleep when you can. The baby won't know day from night initially, so don't force yourself into conventions that don't apply to baby. Don't be too quiet. Let the baby sleep in your living area, with TV on or radio. Vacuum. Ring the doorbell. These sounds aren't frightening yet and you can save yourself heartache by introducing them consistently early. The first few diapers will be the worst you face until you start solid food. If you plan to breast feed,I would consider getting a feed assist tube that you can use to finger feed the baby when mom doesn't want to or can't. It'll help you bond and can help avoid nipple confusion from using a bottle. Swaddling can be your best friend until they learn to roll over. Take deep breaths. Some nights you'll want to scream. Just walk away from the baby and let it cry. Gather your thoughts before speaking to baby or mom and when you're ready, get back to it. Everyone is a bit fragile during the first few months. WRITE THINGS DOWN and video the odd little things he or she does. You won't remember dates/ting that you'll want to later if you don't write it down. And you'll love having little shots of the funny things they do as you look back and recall them. We didn't video some of the funny rings out daughter used to do and we try to imitate them now when reflecting but we wish we had a video. That's it for now. If I can think of others I'll post.
Do you have grandparents close? If so, use them. Also - not sure what the weather will be like but get out of the house a lot. Fresh air and sunshine make baby and parents very happy
I have heard about making sure it's not super quiet in the house to get kiddo used to noise. Wife's parents live in the city where we will go for the birth. we will stay there about a month, then back up here to jungleland....which when it's not the rainy season is perfect for strolls on the street.
They will test your patience. Just have to make sure you stay calm, they can pick up on your tension.
some of the things we avoiding doing when the kids were younger that i'm very happy about: 1) the noise issue. the kid can get woken up. deal with it. worst things can happen in life. I have 4 nieces and nephews who literally cannot sleep without a noise machine. our kids sleep through car alarms going off. 2) swaddling. got to disagree with you there. we didn't find it did anything and it's a huge pain. we did buy the kids sleeper bags which allowed them to have ample movement, but still feel contained. it also was a lot easier than swaddling them after every change. 3) we never did a pacifier and boy am I happy about it. they'll survive. trust me. 4) bouncy chairs are supposed to be bad for babies. the ones they put their legs in and can stand up in. beats me if that's garbage or not. 5) we just put the babies down after they fed. no rocking to sleep or anything like that. I feel like the kids gets trained to need that. my sister in law literally would have to bounce on a ball for 30 minutes to get her kid asleep. we just put them down. mistakes we made I wish we hadn't: 1) my wife breastfed and after the babies got so they could breastfeed for all their feedings (they couldn't do this at first because they were premature) she stopped giving them a bottle. well when we wanted to go out a month later they had completely forgot how to take a bottle and it was hell for months to do anything on our own. 2) my wife bought this pad that went off when the baby stopped moving. it's supposed to be an anti sids thing. god did I hate it. it constantly would go off. it also cost like $100 and I eventually threw it away in anger. your kid will be fine. 3) we bought expensive car seats. the basic one is fine 4) for the love of god don't even think about using cloth diapers.
my wife is into the whole "green living" thing but we opted to not go with cloth diapers...so, WOO tell me more about not going with pacifiers. What made you guys not do that?
and great stuff guys. I am really comfortable around kids, even taught a class the other night while holding the 9 month old child of my friend/student....but I have always been on the friend/uncle side of the kid relationship...never really seen the behind the scenes stuff so to say
Depends on the kid IMO. Our boy had to have one. Our girl never wanted one. I'd suggest offering it and seeing if they take it or not. However, at 18-24 months, take it from them. I'm also a major proponent of swaddling. Find yourself a video of The Happiest Baby on the Block, watch it, follow it, and thank me later.
our niece is 3 and still has a pacifier so we just decided not even to offer it. they never seemed to mind.
I'm 100% convinced it doesn't do anything and people just think that it does something because the natural progression is for babies to sleep better over time.
We did it from day #1 and had no issues ever. When we were nice and let his hands go free he slept worse, when we started swaddling hands again he slept great.
I assume you are joking, but this is the type of bullshit sexual stereotype that I will not be teaching my child. (again, I get that it was a joke, but in Brazil where I live our friends are shocked that I will be the one staying home with the kid, let alone that I am the one that washes dishes and <the horror> irons the clothes and does the wash)
if he's used to it of course taking it away is a problem. we tried swaddling and noticed no difference or if anything they slept worse. but that was after weeks of no swaddling.
