Creative Ways to Fire Butch

Might as well have fun with it. I already suggested locking him in a room with Al Haynesworth or Currie firing him over the Jumbotron. Let's have some others.

 

Currie call in to Vol Calls

 

Thunder and Peyton hand delivering the buyout check on Sunday morning after the Bama game, have UTSports follow them to the door

 

He's pretty dumb. Any chance we could trick him into signing what he believes is an extension but is actually a legally binding document of resignation and surrender of his buyout money?

 

Call up Craig Ferguson, he use to shit can people in glorious ways on the Drew Carey Show.

 

Present him a life championship trophy, then hand him an envelope with the termination letter in it at halftime of the uga game

 

Have him and Brady Hoke line up in the circle of life drill with Currie handing him the pink slip right before they go at it. Then, let Hoke bury him into the ground.

 

At halftime, make him kick field goals for a chance to void his termination papers. Can make it look like one of those big checks and everything.

I think it fair to start him out around 50 yards.

 

Take his contract, slam dunk it into a trash can that a lucky fan who won a lottery then carries around the stadium.

 

Fire him on the butch jones show.

Announce it on finebaum.

 

Trash can rolling with him in it down Cumberland Ave to the bus stop.

Checks in the mail.

 

Let Tim Priest do it.

 

Just make the new hire while he's still employed and wait for him to put it together

 

Let Larry Scott give him the news.

 

Take him to the Florida Keys to assist in clean up from Hurricane Irma. Leave him.

 

I would literally beat the shot out of him if he was down here.

 

He'd just talk about what great progress the Keys were making but not actually clean anything.

 

Tell him that they want to use the trashcan in a publicity stunt. They will take a cannon and make it look like our sacred trashcan. We will tell Butch that we are going to shoot him into the net 50 yards away and this will be the launch of the 2018 marketing campaign which will be titled, "Soaring to new heights." Tell him he can jump up after he lands and excitedly proclaim the new slogan to the masses.

Then load him in the cannon, turn it around, and propel him straight into an enormous brick wall. As the camera pans over his broken carcass we see a dark shadow on a black horse through the rising dust. He dismounts and we see the hand of this person reach down and pick up a loose brick. We see this person from the waist down walk over to Butch. Butch, bloody and sniveling, looks upon the face of the dark rider. He shrieks as the brick makes contact with his skull. We slowly pan up to a sneering Jon Gruden. He looks straight into the camera and says NO GIMMICKS NEEDED. The screen fades and in big orange letters appearing there are two simple words.....WE'RE BACK

 

I could get on board with this if we could up the cruelty quotient just a bit more.

 

Time to park the moving Van in front of his house.