In honor of JQK's Wedding

Discussion in 'The Thunderdome' started by CardinalVol, Aug 14, 2019.

  1. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    I give you my (and his) thoughts on weddings -

    NorrisAlan and utvol0427 like this.
  2. Tenacious D

    Tenacious D The law is of supreme importance, or no importance

    Congrats, JQK!
  3. NYYVol

    NYYVol Super Moderator

    Congrats to both of you gentlemen.
  4. NorrisAlan

    NorrisAlan Super Moderator

    Alan's Guide for a Successful Marriage (for men):

    1) Put down the toilet seat
    2) Ask her which way she likes the toilet paper: Over top or back behind
    3) "I'm sorry."

    Congratulations, JQK!
    kmf600 and JohnnyQuickkick like this.
  5. JohnnyQuickkick

    JohnnyQuickkick Great Man

    Planning a wedding is excellent practice. “Yes, dear, that’s perfect. I agree 100%”
  6. JohnnyQuickkick

    JohnnyQuickkick Great Man

    Wait till the preacher finds out
  7. warhammer

    warhammer Chieftain

    The advice my best friend gave me at my bachelor party:

    The first year she'll try to take control. You have to win that battle no matter what or you'll be whipped for life.

    He's on his third wife now.
  8. TheOrangeEmpire

    TheOrangeEmpire Active Member

    Give 60% and expect 40% back.

    You’ll tolerate each other till y’all die.

  9. Tenacious D

    Tenacious D The law is of supreme importance, or no importance

    It’s damned expensive to switch’em out.
    zehr27 and NYYVol like this.
  10. warhammer

    warhammer Chieftain

    He has a saying, "I just love that new wife smell."
  11. InVolNerable

    InVolNerable Fark Master Flex

    If she says back behind, divorce her.
  12. droski

    droski Super Moderator

    he's marrying a woman?
  13. kmf600

    kmf600 Energy vampire

    I think the correct terminology is,

    Cheaper to keep her
    Tenacious D likes this.
  14. utvol0427

    utvol0427 Chieftain

    piihb, Johnny. Everything else will work itself out.
  15. Volst53

    Volst53 Super Moderator

    Just enjoy the pink first.

    He's not ready to run yet.
  16. TheOrangeEmpire

    TheOrangeEmpire Active Member

    Don’t forget the stink
  17. utvol0427

    utvol0427 Chieftain

    True, but we're both assuming that JQK hasn't taken advantage of the poophole loophole in an effort to keep his bride pure for their wedding night.
  18. Indy

    Indy Irrational and hormonal

    People in my generation love weddings because it gives them an opportunity to post pictures of themselves dressed up on facebook and the gram to show how popular and fancy they are.
  19. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    have you tried turning them off, then turning them on again?
  20. InVolNerable

    InVolNerable Fark Master Flex

    Turning them off is a breeze. Turning them on is where it gets tricky.
    NorrisAlan likes this.

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