Just this morning, a fellow 8th Maxim regular sends me this text: "Apparently your mother-in-law has all kinds of nice things to say about you. I bet she won't for long, because I'm going to be spending the whole day with her." I (immediately) respond: "What the hell?" He replies: "Yeah, we'll be working on an educational fair all day, today. Turns out, she actually had me in a class a while ago, and remembers me. She walked over and said that we had something else in common, besides class....that I was also friends (his words, not mine) with her son-in-law (me)." Me: "How in the hell does she know that I know you?" Him: "She said that she never realized it until she saw me comment on your FB posts. She's had great things to say about you, but won't by the end of spending the day with me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Me: "Well, shit." Who, you must be wondering, is the 8th Maxim member that is spending the entire day with my mother-in-law? NYYVOL.
If anyone has a burning question that I could ask this sweet, sweet lady, please send it. She was very flabbergasted to learn how Tenny and I met. More so at my memory of the stall, than at what went on in the stall. I take that to mean she's well aware of this secret life.
Did she force TD to be muzzled as a child resulting in his Homeresque posts to make up for lost time? Did he display exaggerated feminine qualities as a child as well?
"I knew the first time I met him, that there was something gay about him." "It's hard to sleep at night as a woman knowing my daughter is not capable of being pleasured." "Have you ever heard how hard he says his S's? We have to walk a minimum of 80 feet behind him to keep from getting burned by the flame." This is before her cup of coffee. Stay tuned.
"I'm convinced he lost his virginity to JFK." And then the dagger.... "I told him that being on his knees in a Pilot doesn't make him an insider. Jon Gruden isn't coming."
Yeah, she's a salt-of-the-earth kind of person. She graduated high school at 16, had graduated college and was teaching high school English before she was 20, and later went back to college and became the first woman in the history of Greene County to earn a doctorate. All with three kids at home, and while working full-time as a teacher and then principal. She lead the committee that successfully lobbied the US Navy to name it's new (at the time) fast-attack submarine - and which was later commissioned (and still in operation) as the USS Greenville She helped start a large educational library in a rural area of India, which still stands and has only grown, to this day. She often takes mission trips to Central / South America, and Africa. She has reviewed Dept. Of Education grant applications for over 20 years, simply to better learn about what grants may be available, and how her school system might be best able to apply for and win them. She has been invited to give a guest lecture at Oxford University. Twice. (She did once, declined a second time). Before retiring as a public educator, she began teaching college courses as a visiting professor at the local college. After retiring, she became a full-time professor. And then she earned tenure. And finally, after several years, she was named the Dean of the Educational Department. I'm damned proud to even know her, much less to be related to her, to say the least. And NYY-f'ing-VOL now knows that she is my mother-in-law, and is spending the day with her. FML.
As I told you earlier - her daughter knows that my [penis] game is strong. And I married the other one.
She already has Hat's number. Tell her to check her phone contacts under "B" and look for "Badass Mother F'er".
Welp, there goes my plan of staying off the boards and working today. Although surprised. Figured NYY has expanded to in-cab pleasures when I saw that truck wreck/fire on 81 this morning.
My favorite quote so far today.... "If you aren't careful (when I told her of me texting and giving Tenny a hard time) he'll go on all day." When a woman of stature at an institution of higher learning thinks that you talk/type too much, you have a problem.
