What an asshole.

Discussion in 'The Thunderdome' started by IP, Feb 5, 2012.

  1. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    So my roommate needs a ride to a friend's house for a super bowl party because she is from Miami and can't stand to drive in the snow. I agree to give her a ride, but we have to dig my car out of 2 feet of snow first. We go outside and are using some old plywood to help scoop the snow, as I have only been here a year and haven't bothered to get fully supplied with a snow shovel or anything. It only snows a foot or more at a time maybe once a year, anyway.

    While we are doing that, this neighbor who I have never seen before comes out, and offers up his snow shovel. By this point, I had managed to clear a way through the plow line to the cleared road, and figure I should be able to just push through the snow remaining on the sides and to a lesser degree the front of the car. This isn't my first rodeo, as I have lived in wintery places before. Still, I accept his offer and thank him to just be neighborly. I shovel some more snow from the front and sides of the car for about a minute, and then offer the shovel back with more thanks.

    "You're going to need to shovel more than that." I say "Oh? It seems pretty powdery, I bet I can push through." He replied with, "Well, you are going to have to clear that snow off the car first." No shit. I thought I could just drive around with 2 feet of snow on my windshield.

    I tell him I was just about to and pull out my snow scraper/brush gizmo from my car. From behind me I hear "You should just boil some water and dump it on the car, so it will all melt. It's way easier." I reply that I don't want to take the time, and also sometimes that can lead to water collecting and freezing in places that can be inconvenient when frozen solid the next day. He says, "Are you that [uck fay]ing stupid? I'm from Aspen and you're from bum-[uck fay] Tennessee." He apparently looked at my license plate.

    I laugh, assuming he isn't serious. He is. He continues to stand across the street, now mocking me with fake "thank yous" because apparently he doesn't think I am grateful enough for his assistance. I get my car out just fine in short order and drive my roommate to her party, but I've been [uck fay]ing fuming ever since.

    I should have beat his ass. He may have been drunk or high or something, we weren't sure. But I should have [uck fay]ing beat his ass.
     
  2. Volst53

    Volst53 Super Moderator

    Two questions:

    1. Is your roommate hot?

    2. Are you [uck fay]ing her?
     
  3. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    1. Ya, pretty much.

    2. No, that'd be like [uck fay]ing my sister.


    But the idea that he was carrying on like a jackass towards me in front of an attractive woman that for all he knew WAS my girlfriend is not lost on me. I think that is why I am pissed.
     
  4. Ron Mexico.

    Ron Mexico. New Member

    Yes, your neighbor deserves an ass whoopin'. Was he beaten as a child?
     
  5. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    I think he was high as shit and had been kicked out of his house by roommates/wife.
     
  6. WM

    WM Active Member

    Somebody got put in the friends zone.
     
  7. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    I am the master cartographer of the friend's zone, but no worries in this specific case. Never had any designs on this one.
     
  8. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    Besides, she only dates black dudes and Latin girls in relationships frighten me.
     
  9. WM

    WM Active Member

    Yah, sleeping with one's roommate no matter how hot is a horrible idea.
     
  10. kptvol

    kptvol Super Moderator

    Find his car. Take a dump on it. Bury it in snow.
     
  11. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    His car is the gold one parked right in front of my house. He pointed it out to me while bragging about his ability to extricate it from snow.
     
  12. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    Who the [uck fay] buys a gold car? Who the [uck fay] buys a gold car, then refers to said car as "the gold one" when pointing it out?

    Douche bags, that is who.
     
  13. WM

    WM Active Member

    You should have hit him so hard that you jammed one of your button pushing thumbs.
     
  14. kptvol

    kptvol Super Moderator

    I bet frozen urine on his car would blend in really well with that paintjob.
     
  15. GahLee

    GahLee Director of Conspiracy Theories, 8th Maxim

    Your neighbor is a [uck fay]ing moron, pouring boiling hot water on a frozen windshield is a moronic idea.

    It would have taken all I had not to smack the piss out of him.
     
  16. kptvol

    kptvol Super Moderator

    And what [uck fay]ing idiot carries a container of boiling water across an icy sidewalk to a car? Why not just dial 911 first to save yourself some time?
     
  17. BearCat204

    BearCat204 Chieftain

    He may have been drunk, but not a chance in hell he was high. If I'm high, the last thing I'm doing is going out in the freaking cold to help someone dig their car out......just sayin
     
  18. IP

    IP Advanced Pruitt Apologetics Bot

    He was already outside, just kind of hanging out on the sidewalk like a creeper. I am not saying pot high. This is Denver. Coke is a real possibility.
     
  19. GahLee

    GahLee Director of Conspiracy Theories, 8th Maxim

    Same kind of idiot that wants to crack his windshield I suppose.
     
  20. volfanjo

    volfanjo Chieftain

    Colorado is full of idiots. Im glad to see prejudice against Southerners is alive and well.
     

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