POLITICS “More Sensitive: Bunnies or East Tennesseans?” Discussion

Good post and very similar for me. I do not have children so cannot speak from TT's position, but it's a lot about learning for me. I enjoy understanding what is most/least important for other cultures. How they interact with others, how they approach and deal with challenges, how they feel about interactions with other cultures, etc. Hell, I especially enjoy learning about customs and the opportunities to enjoy authentic food and drink - which isn't easy to do in many places. I'm a person who puts great value on empathy, so building a greater understanding of other perspectives through direct interaction enables stronger empathic ability. So, it's primarily a selfish thing, but also genuine.

I don't necessarily live in a highly diverse place right now, but I'm fortunate in my role allows me to work with people all across the globe. I've learned a lot through our professional and personal interactions. This along with my stints living in more diverse cities (and growing up in East TN) has made me a better me (but not better than anyone else so don't jump me).

 

I will always say I’m from TN, but now live in x if someone asks.

 

I can't claim a state. I see myself as an American.

 

I can't claim a country. I see myself as a citizen of the world

 

Jk

 

I see myself as an aspiring Martian inpat.

 

Thats right.

 

I had the opportunity for dual citizenship but declined.

 

My dad actually has dual citizenship with US/France.

War baby.

 

It all comes into focus now.

 

You could've had free medical

 

Thread, summarized

https://media0.giphy.com/media/xT9Igk6pl01yVK0FHO/giphy.gif?cid=4bf119fc5be5d7cc43374e422e854c95

 

He said thankfully he remembers none of it.

 

OK - TD.

Finally have time to respond to your post.

Let me first say that my guiding principle is that life is often an optimization of the happy function. That function changes as the seasons of life change, but there is rarely any decision thtbdoesnt have an offsetting negative influence on ‘happiness.’ The goal is to make decisions that incrementally improve the value of the function.

My wife and I did not move to Houston because we were seeking more diversity. We came here because I had a good job opportunity (plus on function) and would increase salary (plus on function). But we were leaving really good friends (negative) and I would miss doing science daily (negative). It weighed out that moving seemed like the right thing particularly since the kids weren’t fully in school yet.

When we were looking for places to live - we began to get really excited about this school district - in particular, this area of the district. We had never seen a place with such high diversity. And by that I mean the highest percentage of any race was low and that there were a number of races above 10% - even above 20%. We saw that as another plus to the happy function because of what it could offer the kids.

I’m not saying we wouldn’t leave because of it. It’s not a litmus test and truthfully there aren’t many places you can get it, but it has grown into a bigger part of our happiness function - enough that it weighed into our recent decision to stay. (Also don’t discount happy wife, happy life - she doesn’t like how red Tennessee is now. And even though I’m much less liberal than she is, moving to a state that gave Blackburn a 10 pt win over a candidate as qualified as Bredesen is also a negative to my happiness function - but damn those rolling hills and mountains would overcome it).

So why has the diversity grown in our happiness function since we have been here enough to be a large factor in our decision?

We love living in a neighborhood where we hear different languages, where the different races have enough numbers and feel safe enough to fully display their cultures, where our assumptions are challenged, where we can develop relationships with non-Americans, new Americans, and always Americans. We have different meals while discussing home countries. We have learned so much about Mexico and the political situation there as many people in our neighborhood are here to escape the conflict there. We get to celebrate Diwali with neighbors. Etc. These things are fun, they make me think bigger, and they help me relate to others I encounter in my business life.

As for the kids - we moved here and my kid kept calling the Asian kid at the playground Sandeep. Because she swore he was the Indian kid she played with the first time she was at our neighborhood park. She knew he was ‘brownish’ in her words and had dark hair. Had to be the same guy. She had no discernible skills at differentiating them. Now, this is minor - but boy did it serve as a tea example of how few cultures she had really been exposed to.

I also want the kids to be in environments where they are challenged to grow and stretch to become comfortable. At first my daughter would come home from school upset that several kids at her table at school would slip in and out of English (to Spanish) during the day as they did their activities. She didn’t want to miss out. We didn’t even really coach her much but explained why they do that (it’s very natural to them, they aren’t even really thinking about it, they aren’t doing it to be mean, etc) and just let her go from there. Within a few days she was asking them what it meant and learning words and playing around with the sounds. The kids also started coaching each other and explaining themselves as she asked them to help her understand. That was amazing. We loved it. Not only did it present a challenge to solve, but a cultural one that her mom and I had struggled with. When I go to the park and a group of Hispanic dads are standing there talking, I didn’t go up and break it up with my English. But I watched my daughter do it with their kids - which she didn’t do when we first moved here. So, I learned from her and have made some friends I wouldn’t have made.

She would come home and talk about places she had ever heard of before. I would love to say her palette had expanded - but we aren’t there yet. But she’s learning first hand. And I’m proud to say she now easily distinguished between Chinese and Indian kids, haha.

She also sees different religions. That challenges us as parents and makes me better. I’ve gone to Muslim co-workers and asked questions I never would have asked so that I could go home and answer questions for her. That dialogue has been great for me and opened up work relationships I didn’t have before.

And we also saw something amazing happen with our oldest. She is a strong personality. I’m pretty sure if you asked her (she’s 6) what she wants to be when she grows up, she would answer ‘a boss’ half the time. A boss doing what? Bossing people, of course. We also had never seen an empathic bone in the kids body. We love her to death, but she’s hard core. CEO material.

Well, she has shocked us this year. She was down some early as things were different - and the language thing would get to her some. But as I said she worked through that. And on the other side, she became a champion for all the ‘different’ kids in her class. One kid has a learning disability and he holds his hand when they go places, gets other kids to cheer him on during gym, defends him when kids are mean. Amazing. Now she might have developed that without her experiencing the discomfort of being different - but from things she would tell us about this kid, she described how he felt vs how she felt and she was actually empathizing. Win.

I also don’t mean to just point out the challenges it can pose that I think are good for them. But she now says things like Lucas’ dad is from China and it’s very cold in China. Or Emma was born in Mexico and she gets to have piñatas at her birthday. Etc. as a family, we’ve just enjoyed seeing the kids dip their toes into learning about their classmates and bonding with them in a way that will I think help them build relationships later in life. It’s been a big positive and we viewed giving that up as a negative.

 

I live in a pretty diversified area. I hate it.

 

I doubt that there is much diversity loving going on here:

 

Holy shit.

 

Is it mainly just two - three - four?

Pick your preference

A) you in a non-diverse area as a minority
B) you in a non-diverse area a a majority

Key reasons for preference?

 

Definitely a minority. The people here are among the rudest people on the planet. People here drive like shit, park in the middle of the road, drive on the wrong side of the road. The predominant language is Spanish. I hate the food. It is more expensive to live here. I can go on.

I read the pick one wrong. I live here as a minority, I would rather be in the majority, honestly.

 

Would you say the area is actually diverse - or is it just majority Hispanic?

I think it’s a good experience to have. I have never lived in a place where I was really a racial minority. But I did live in Norway (for only a few months) and I experienced being a minority nationally and not knowing how to really speak the language.

After about 3 months, I was really missing home and just never quite feeling comfortable. I’m hoping my kids will feel more comfortable by stretching in some of these ways early.