Igor:You know, I'll never forget my old dad. When these things would happen to him... the things he'd say to me. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What did he say? Igor: "What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night? Why don't you get out of there and give someone else a chance?"
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's? Igor: [pause, then] No. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in? Igor: Then you won't be angry? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry. Igor: Abby someone. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby someone. Abby who? Igor: Abby... Normal. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Normal? Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [chuckles, then] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA? [grabs Igor and starts throttling him] Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Is that what you're telling me?
Words of wisdom from my father on how to choose a spouse: "All women are crazy, son. It's just a matter of how much crazy you are willing to put up with. Remember, it always gets worse." "True character is shown in adversity, never in triumph. See how she reacts when the shit hits the fan, and then you'll know if she can hack it. Anybody can be happy when it's all sunshine and rainbows. It's when life hits hard that you'll know if she's a keeper." I plan on passing it down to The Boy when he's old enough.
Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked... in the head... with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that's a dumb question... skip that.
Tower : Flight 2-0-9er, you're cleared for take off. Oever : Roger! Roger : Huh? Tower : L.A. departure frequency 1-2-3 point 9er. Oever : Roger! Roger : Huh? Victor: Request Vector, over! Oever : What? Tower : 2-0-9er clear for vector 2-3-4. Roger : We have clearance Clarence. Oever : Roger, Roger. What's our Vector Victor? Tower : Tower's radio clearance, over! Oever : That's Clarence Oever! Oever. Tower : Roger. Roger : Huh? Tower : Roger, over. Roger : Huh? Oever : Huh?
Joey: Wait a minute. I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers. Roger Murdock: I'm sorry, son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot. Joey: You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets. Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now, Joey. Right, Clarence? Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone. Let him stay here. Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is... [showing his nametag] Roger Murdock: ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot. Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. [Kareem gets angry] Joey: And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try... except during the playoffs. Roger Murdock: [breaking character] The hell I don't! LISTEN, KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
