What is the worst Christmas gift you've ever received?

Discussion in 'The Thunderdome' started by JayVols, Dec 26, 2015.

  1. JayVols

    JayVols Walleye Catchin' Moderator

    All the presents are opened. The house is a wreck. All the good cheer has been used up. It's back to the daily grind. In honor of all this, what is the worst Christmas gift you've ever received?


    I'll start it off. Mine happened yesterday. My family has grown so big that one side of my family started drawing names, so we would only have to buy one gift, sans all the kids. I got my father-in-law's name. He's a Mr. Fixer Upper type. His idea of heaven on earth is walking the aisles of any home improvement store. I got him a $100 gift card. I know gift cards may not be the most personal of gifts, but he knows what he needs much better than I do; thus, the gift was well-received. As everyone went around the room, I waited my turn to open the golden box that sat in front of me. It was a beautiful box. Not the biggest I've ever seen, but what it lacked in size, was made up in it's sheer golden beauty. My mind raced with anticipation. What could be inside this gilded package? This was the last gift of the year for me. I just KNEW this was going to be an awesome final gift for Christmas 2015. The family member that got my name may not live up to the phrase of "being loaded", but he/she has a great job making much more money than me and my wife combined. THIS was going to be good. As I caressed the glimmering treasure box in front of me, I anxiously awaited my turn, the anticipation was building to an explosive crescendo. It was becoming so thick in the very air I was breathing that should I take the cool new pocket knife my wife and daughters gave me earlier out of my pocket, I could almost cut it. Finally, it was my turn, but I was told to wait. The present itself was part 2. I had to wait another moment as the gifter stepped out of the room to do something that was part 1. A TWO PART PRESENT!?!? Yeah, this REALLY was going to be good! I waited impatiently when all of a sudden my cell phone notified me I had a message from the person who had in benevolence gave me the gift. I was instructed to open the message. My mind raced. Was I going to have to go on an epic treasure hunt? What clue to this potentially life-changing gift was I going to see? After I opened the message, I was greeted with a picture of the gifter and his/her child. It was an odd picture. It wasn't an image of them frolicking in some blissful utopia this present would magically transport me to. They had odd expressions on their faces. Almost as if they were in disgust. I was confused. Very confused. Just what was in this beautifully mysterious box? Finally, I was told to open my package that, at one point, I imagined could change my life for the better. I slowly lifted the lid. Dang it! There was a bag inside. I hurriedly removed the bag to remove it's contents. I felt a cylindrical object inside. I noticed a cap had come off. Just what is this amazing gift, I thought silently. Has some genius discovered a way to put joy in a bottle? When I removed the contents, I was puzzled. I had no clue what this bottle was. I spun it around to read the label. I wish I had a picture of my face when I read what was printed on the sticker on the bottle. "Poo-pourri". What the **** is poo-pourri? The gifter happily explained that before my morning ritual, I could spray this in the toilet and there would be no stink....Are you kidding me?!?! It's called shit for a reason. If it was supposed to smell good, they'd call it rose or something instead of shit. I'd like to let everyone know something including the gifter. Your shit stinks too. It's called shit for cripes sakes.

    So, yes, Christmas 2015 will always be remembered by me as the Christmas I spent $100 on the family drawing gift so the person whose name I drew could get some decently nice things they like, and in return, I got a $2 bottle of a spray that you are supposed to put in the toilet before you take a dump. Seriously. I can't make this stuff up. It dang sure won't be me, but I'm 100% convinced that whoever decides to use it will leave the bathroom with a distinctive smell. A smell just like someone shit a flower shop.

    /end rant
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2015
  2. zehr27

    zehr27 8th's VIP

    Man that sucks. What a dumb gift.
     
  3. utvol0427

    utvol0427 Chieftain

    My mother-in-law gave me some purple/blue overnight bag (clearly for a female) that she got as a free gift when she bought my wife's gift. Wanna trade?
     
  4. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    My senior year of high school was when we won the sec title under Manning and everyone knew I was going to ut. So every person got me a ut shirt. Except they were all the Sab type wal mart shirts.
     
  5. CardinalVol

    CardinalVol Uncultured, non-diverse mod

    Also, shout out to the gifts for the husband and wife that are without a doubt a gift for the wife alone.
     
  6. JayVols

    JayVols Walleye Catchin' Moderator

    Deal.
     
  7. JT5

    JT5 Super Moderator

    Father in law gave me a couple of beer mugs one year, which was fine, except they were sized for like 94 ounces, just impractical as ****. And they were dusty inside and had lipstick marks all around the outside rim, which was ****ing weird and gross.

    Call me a prissy little diva if you wish, but I prefer my beer mugs to at least be clean before you regift them to me.
     
  8. GahLee

    GahLee Director of Conspiracy Theories, 8th Maxim

    Anything I've ever gotten from my aunt has been horrible. Just ugly clothes that are neither appealing or would fit. Got a Bob Dylan Christmas album one year, not even the actual album, a burned copy. It sucked something fierce.
     
  9. TangoUniform

    TangoUniform Contributor

    I got a $5 gift certificate to williams-Sonoma one year.

    ...which is as good as getting to unwrap a box of air.
     
  10. IP

    IP It's just business.

    Jay, did you guys not have a price range? Gotta have a price range. Or bite the bulletcajd go white elephant
     
  11. NorrisAlan

    NorrisAlan Founder of the Mike Honcho Fan Club

    My aunt, this very year, got me a UT shirt with "TOUGH" on the front of it and a picture of Lyle A. Jones on the back of it.

    Hello, KARM bucket!
     
  12. RockyHill

    RockyHill Loves Auburn more than Tennessee.

    A burned CD as a gift? Your aunt is a savage.
     
  13. rbroyles

    rbroyles Chieftain

    Jay, that truly qualifies as a crappy gift. Worse than the Christmas tie I got one year that has flashing lights and plays "Jingle Bells".
     
  14. GahLee

    GahLee Director of Conspiracy Theories, 8th Maxim

    No, it wasn't from her, her gifts are usually worse. That was from someone on my wife's side of the family. It was gift to everyone that year. I wasnt even that mad about it until I listened to it. It was horrible.
     
  15. zehr27

    zehr27 8th's VIP

    This may take the cake.
     
  16. Volst53

    Volst53 Super Moderator

    That's pretty funny. But I do prefer white elephant or dirty Santa game instead of buying for all the grow ups, when you have a lot to buy for family get together.
     
  17. Savage Orange

    Savage Orange I need ammunition, not a ride. -V Zelensky.

    My mother in law gave "me" some pots and pans... My wife was really happy about it, but she actually cooks....
     
  18. Savage Orange

    Savage Orange I need ammunition, not a ride. -V Zelensky.

    Dang Jay... I guess the golden box was brick shaped?
     
  19. JayVols

    JayVols Walleye Catchin' Moderator

    No. But this person wanted to do a gag gift Christmas a few years ago. I guess he/she took it upon themselves to do it this year. I will move heaven and earth to ensure I get this person next year. Paybacks will be with a hefty interest.
     
  20. JayVols

    JayVols Walleye Catchin' Moderator

    You got a shitty gift too.
     

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