Coaching and Youth Sports

Son's rock climbing team had their first meet on Tuesday night. Since he is on the JV team, he wasn't going to be competing, but I told him we should go anyway because then we can see how the meets are held, what the rules are and also get some pointers, not to mention supporting those that will be competing. At first he didn't want to go, coming up with all kind of excuses, but I decided to make him go.

When the meet starts, he finally moseys over to me and says "Wish we didn't come." I figured he was bored and wanted to go home to be on his computer. But I looked at him and knew it wasn't what the problem was, and I asked him if he was frustrated because he wasn't competing.

Yep.

So we had the talk about getting better, practicing and being part of the team even if you are not competing, show the coaches that you care about the team above yourself and before he knows it, he will be on the varsity team competing. He went out on the floor and watched, asked questions and assisted the team as best as he could, and they were glad he came to cheer them on.

He says he is now even more committed to getting onto the varsity team.

I wish I could take credit, but it is all him, and I am a very proud dad.

 

That might be the best thing I've ever heard from a youth football field.

 

It's kind of amazing how they latch on to something when they find what they like. That's awesome.

 

In baseball I am quick to tell my parents early on we don't put up with it. That since it's league I can't kick them off so I'll send the message by decreased playing time for your kid. But, if they are doing hitting lessons or stuff outside, and they see something, to tell me and I'll relay the message. So a lot of time in between innings I'll have a dad come up and tell me, "hey, he's supposed to have an open stance" or some mental correction that they have to fix a swing. I'm totally fine with that.

Funny story - last year my stud was on the mound and we were destroying a team, but he was unhittable and if they are dominating on the mound I let them go as long as they can. 3rd or 4th inning he throws a pitch and it bounces at about 25 feet. He turns and looks at us in the dugout expecting to be in trouble and as I'm sitting on my bucket I say, "I'm not going to lie. That was terrible." Kid smiles (he never smiles on mound) and all the parents, including his, busts out laughing. K's the kid comes in the dugout and we all laugh.

 

A *real* coach would have asked for time, gone out to the mound and and berated the kid, making sure everyone could hear as you threaten to kick him off the team. What kind of lesson are you teaching with your quippy fun stuff?

 

My mound visits with him were usually one of the following -

"Calm down."

"Quit looking at your dad after every bad pitch."

"Yes, I think they are strikes too, but blue doesn't. There isn't anything we can do, so adjust. No need to throw a pity party out here."

"Bend your back and follow through."

And my favorite -

"Your girlfriend here tonight and you trying to impress her?"

"No."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Do you want a girlfriend?"

"No."

"Good, because the way you are pitching no girl in her right mind would want to be with you."

*evil look*

"Now, calm down, relax, and and just throw strikes. No one can hit you, quit trying to overthrow."

 

Reminds me of watching a show about Koufax, and how someone told him "dude, you don't have to throw as hard as you can every pitch." Once he threw at 90%, he became the best pitcher the game ever saw.

 

And did this help the kids who they ran off? Did it help the kids left on the team that, I assume, downgraded in talent?

I know this wasn't you, and you weren't necessarily endorsing it, but it's tough dealing with difficult parents. They typically mean well, but he biggest reason is that the parent isn't the kid, and I think coaches are supposed to be caring about the kid. The attitude of "The parent is an asshole, so [uck fay] that kid," is just as bad as the guy berating his kid from behind the fence because he struck out, IMO.

 

I had a signal I'd give him in situation on an 0-2 count which meant "rear back and let it fly".

He'd usually have to throw a 1-2 pitch. Sometimes the kids would swing just to swing.

 

Would depend on if the kid's parents are affecting the other 9-11 kids on the team IMO. If it's an annoyance, let him play. If it's affecting everything, you have to give them the boot.

 

Can you all not just ban the parent from the sporting event, and keep the kid.

 

Parents got the boot. Coaches or carpool drove the kid. Id never take it on on the kid, unless the kid is acting like the parent. Most kids are happy to be out there and get coached vs people yelling instructions, some of which are bad advice

 

In theory that could happen, but I could see situations where if parent can't be there, they won't let kid come.

 

Most of which.

And I am just as guilty as any other parent. But I know it is stupid and try to keep my thoughts to myself 90% of the time. And it is easy with rock climbing, because I know less than zero about it.

 

Maybe I'm lucky. I've never had a situation extreme enough where I thought it was really bothering anybody but the kid in question.

I have had a couple of sets of parents who hate each other, which is always amusing. It's a small town, so they are usually related in some tenuous manner--cousin-in-laws or uncle grandpa or something like that.

 

All who? I'm a coach, not league dictator. I can't, and don't want to, ban anyone.

Hell, the stresses of being a supermod here sometimes drive me to drink, especially on the weekends and while playing golf.

 

I wanted to get a golf 2 v 2 shittalking match with some here who play but nyet. I suck now anyway.

 

I've had exactly one parent, just the mom, who caused trouble. Dad was fine, just the mom.

Since then they've both managed to black ball themselves, but the dad was fine with me. Feel bad for their kid.

 

unfortunately the trouble parents usually have the trouble kids too. The best majors player in our ll has a ahole dad and the kid is a mess too. No one would draft him so my buddy was able to get him in the 4th round. He had the best team all year and in the final game the kid got out, took off his helmet, and threw it in the infield and got suspended for the first playoff game which they lost because he wasn’t playing.

 

I've never had a situation that extreme either, but definitely parents who hate eachother. mostly the mothers. it's amazing how petty people are. your kids are on a baseball team together. you don't have to be best friends.